"... There's nobody in the world like me," Paris trumpets to the London Times. "I think every decade has an iconic blonde -- like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana -- and right now, I'm that icon."


Yes, the stubbornly popular blond with a propensity for flashing her lady-parts feels she's reached the rarefied status of the seminal cinematic bombshell and the beloved, benevolent royal, respectively. (That sound you hear? It's the memories of Marilyn and Diana being soundly trampled by a pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos.)


And while some might worry that such a dubious boast would tempt fate, or at least tempt Elton John to start penning yet another version of "Candle in the Wind," -- you know, just in case -- Hilton, 25, is confident in her fabulous future.


"There's a lot of heiresses out there and I don't see any of them doing what I've done," she crows. "I have so many projects -- bags, fragrances, makeup. I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I've got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007."


Her calendar is currently crammed with promotional pitstops for her single "Stars Are Blind," which peaked at No. 18 on the Billboard Hot 100, and she apparently wants everyone to appreciate the oodles of effort she expends, whether she's doing her patented arched-back red carpet pose or chatting up the likes of Regis and Kelly.


"I was having dinner with my grandfather last week," shares the multitasking minx, "and he said, 'You work harder than any CEO I know.'"


Still, Paris does have plans to slow down -- and water down the gene pool -- in the next few years: "I definitely want to have children at 30."


(Apropos of nothing, paparazzi captured her fetching her lost pet ferret from behind some garbage cans this weekend. Sighed Paris' lately little-seen pup Tinkerbell, "I know just how you feel, buddy.")


And what of those recent tales of catfights and dance-offs with Lindsay Lohan over the affections of Hilton's moneybags Hellenic hottie ex, Stavros Niarchos, whom she was spotted with last week? All lies, she says.


"That was crap. She's never even hung out with Stavros," pooh-poohs Paris, before twisting the knife, "He thinks she's pathetic."


Hilton, who was snapped on Sunday sharing a smooch with oily oil heir Brandon Davis, whose videotaped verbal assault on Lohan allegedly prompted his recent stay in rehab, says she's in the same predicament as another seemingly harebrained peer.


"I read these stories about me starting fights and saying stupid stuff. I've become a cartoon. Nobody seems to get that how I am on 'The Simple Life' is a character," she complains. "I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we're doing. We're smart blonds."


It's enough to cause Paris to lament, "Sometimes I feel like the media uses me as a punchbag," which she says is, like, totally "lame."


But she's not going to let those negative nellies spoil her sense of entitlement, er, accomplishment: " ... I love my job, and I think I've earned the right to be happy now. God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice."

Besides, declares Paris, as she once again dares the universe to give her a smack-down in 2017, when she hits the big 3-6, "At least I'll always be remembered."
[source]